Shotgun Honey

Dairy of Destruction by Erik Arneson

“See that cow?” Officer Angus Buford had been daydreaming about Florida State football and was befuddled by Police Chief Earl Rayner’s comment. “What?” Rayner spoke slowly: “Behold the bovine.” Buford looked out the passenger-side window to ascertain what the hell his boss was talking about. “I’m beholding, but which one? There’s like a hundred.” “Off […]

From The Atari Times to The Throes of Crime by Erik Arneson

One of my earliest memories of school is writing a short story about King Kong and how proud Mom was when I brought it home. (I wish I remembered more about the actual story — I’m certain it would have made a worthy sequel to the original film.) A few years later, I wrote a […]

Heritage by Erik Arneson

It was my last night on the job.

Don’t worry, kid. This ain’t some cliché workplace violence story. I liked it there. Made a lot of friends, did some stuff I’m proud of. I still miss the place, but it was the right time to retire.

Snow was coming down hard when my shift ended. No surprise, that’s what happens in Superior on New Year’s Eve. I officially punched out five minutes early, 11:55 p.m. Why not, you know?

Maybe I’d get home in time to watch the ball drop with your nanna.

Blow Out the Candles by Erik Arneson

Detective Peter Eckert looked down at the girl and shook his head. “I know her,” he said to his partner. “Hannah Kean. Used to be in youth group with Jess.” Eckert had met Hannah three years ago. She was 14, eyes bright and eager, ready for life’s adventures. A couple days after Christmas the next […]

Twitter and Coke by Erik Arneson

Rep. Douglas Carr @CongressmanCarr The House passed my bill to protect personal #privacy online, big win for citizens. Tell your Senators to support the #InternetPrivacyAct 8:37 PM – 28 Jun 12 via web Monster Dude @bigmonsterdude @Reportasaurus where do u suppose @CongressmanCarr is right now 11:09 PM – 28 Jun 12 via Twitter for Android […]

Fortune by Erik Arneson

“You always smell like french fries, Putter. I can’t take it anymore.” “Give me a few minutes, Nat. I’ll shower.” “It doesn’t matter if you shower, baby. It’s in your pores or something. When you get out of the shower, you smell like Axe-scented french fries. Not an improvement.” “I’ll scrub, I’ll do, I’ll … […]

12 Before 9 by Erik Arneson

A well-dressed old man carrying a leather briefcase was pacing on the sidewalk outside my used bookshop in Philly’s Spring Garden neighborhood when I arrived this morning at 12 before 9. Half an hour later, he was inside, taking his sweet time browsing book after book. I hoped he’d make a purchase – or just […]