Oh the stories they tell, when you allow people the chance to open their souls.
We asked for stories of naughty childhoods which we would choose three (3) of the naughtiest or funniest responses. Chris, I and Mr. Hat got to choose the winners.
I usually toed the line around Christmas. I wasn’t worried too much about Santa, it was my old man I had to look out for. When he had a little to much Early Times, the holiday spirit got the hell out of house in a hurry.
When I was nine, there was a new football under the tree. Intending to punt it in the direction of my bedroom, I instead shanked it off the side of my foot. The ball took out part of the upper portion of the tree as well as a living room window.
My father was assessed no penalty for roughing the kicker.
Showed my sister what a snow storm looked like. (I was 4 she was 2) I poured baby powder all over our bedroom…EVERYWHERE. Then I realized that it wasn’t sticking to anything so I spread vaseline on EVERYTHING and did it again. It stuck that time.
When I was 12, I created a fake elf license in September (complete with photo and well placed glitter). Sure it wasn’t good enough to get me into any bars, but it was good enough to enslave my four year old sister for the three months preceding Christmas…for the next two years.
Now that you’ve shared, be sure to claim your prize by dropping us a note with your address to contest@oneeyepress.com. You’ll hopefully get it before the new year.
Have a Happy Holidays!
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