The bathroom in Suite 905 at the Drake Hotel was magnificent to behold, though very few had seen it. Every inch of marble and glass was tailored to Max Weiss’s expensive taste. But as he bore down, grunting on his porcelain throne for the umpteenth time, it occurred to Max that none of the opulence […]
It was too god damned hot as I pulled into a dusty Wal-Mart parking lot in Shamrock, Texas around 10 a.m. CST. Shamrock, Texas was a single flashing yellow light dumped in the middle of the panhandle, halfway between Oklahoma and New Mexico. Broke, hungry and far from home I’d decided to call on an […]
When Fifth District Homicide popped Dobie Stallworth on murder one, we just about threw a party. Cherise, our superstar receptionist, hung a crepe string of purple, gold, green crowns above Andsell’s desk. I slipped a fresh bottle of Wild Turkey into his drawer to keep the half-empty one company. Lots of Kenny Loggins was played […]
I ain’t seen Slyd in a week. Not since he told me WDC was slashing our shit on the East side. Rich bitch kids out that way, toys, dig? Trip-Els crew been tagging East side since we could hop a bus. East side, West side, inside your girl; Low Livin’ Lunatics bomb this city. And […]
Old Jessup was lying in a well, if hurriedly finished casket made of yellow pine cut from his own property, and sawn at his own mill. However, the whiskey that his heir poured for his neighbors was store bought and expensive. Young Jessup and his lady were used to Philadelphia society, and wanted to bring […]
There are only three things you should ever go into debt for: Your house, because let’s face it, who the hell has 200 grand just sitting around? A new car, I never borrowed money on one of those until I got sick of driving around in ten year old beaters with no air conditioning or […]
Me and the boys are in the boat and we’ve decided to play Deadliest Catch––only the waters of the Gulf are calm and green, and the creature at the end of the line is a fat 40-year-old man wearing a bad toupee. He flails and splashes, begging. We share a laugh and lean over the […]
There’s blood on my hands yet I’m well nigh choking to death. The weight behind me, somewhere I think near to my own, has that fishing line wrapped around my neck and is yanking hard. I’ve cut my fingers up trying to stop the wire slicing further into my throat—I can see bone sticking out […]
The day after Frank got out of prison he jaywalked on a busy downtown street and was hit by a car. His right leg was broken both above and below the knee, requiring a massive hip-to-foot cast. This pathetic sight, his youth, his taped-together state-issue glasses, and his humble manner earned him sympathy at the […]
Danny the fence sat a corner table with a treble Bushmills and an untouched pint of Guinness. His dark suit jacket hung on the back of his chair and his black tie was half undone like the noose of a lazy hangman. Danny downed the Bushmills and signalled to Ken behind the bar. Ken brought […]
-Oh, c’mon. What is that? -This thing? Went to a Blue Claws game up in Lakewood back in June. Took my nephews for bat promo night. Dirty water dogs, some suds for me and birch beers for the kids…they were giving theses shit beaters away. Of course, I’m not one for baseball, but it was […]
We tried to tell the Boss it was a bad idea to have the picnic on the same weekend every year, but he liked his things where and when he liked his things. Every year, we expected trouble. Every year, we thought some hot shit new guy on the other side of town would try […]
