Blow Out the Candles

12/28/12

Detective Peter Eckert looked down at the girl and shook his head. “I know her,” he said to his partner. “Hannah Kean. Used to be in youth group with Jess.”

Eckert had met Hannah three years ago. She was 14, eyes bright and eager, ready for life’s adventures. A couple days after Christmas the next year, he saw her loitering outside a convenience store, eyes glassy and addled and holding only a flicker of the spark he remembered. Eleven months later, she paced next to a bench in Monument Park on Lehman Street. Her vacant eyes served as foggy sentinels on the lookout for something, anything, that promised to satisfy her unquenchable craving.

Now 17, eyes forever milky and dull, Hannah lay on the pavement next to a Dumpster in an alley six blocks from her church. Eckert examined the fingers of her right hand, which formed a weak fist resting on her chest. He’d never know that her final instinct had been to clutch for the gold crucifix on her necklace, a necklace no longer there because she had traded it for the speedball that took her life.

~ fin ~

erikarnesonsquare

Erik Arneson lives in Pennsylvania with his wife and editor, Elizabeth. His short stories have appeared in Thuglit, Needle, Akashic Books’ Mondays Are Murder, and many other places. His comic book Fortune is available from Comixology, Indy Planet, and NoiseTrade. He hosts the Title 18: Word Crimes podcast. Find him at www.ErikArneson.com and on Twitter @ErikArneson.

You captured the sadness here. A cautionary tale.
Ryan Sayles
January 07, 2013
Sad. Almost like it was taken from real life.
R.J. Spears
December 31, 2012
Hard-hitting, suitably minimal stuff, Erik. Great!
Andrez Bergen
December 30, 2012
A perfect flash, Erik. Carefully chosen words tell a much larger story. Excellent work!
Kathleen A. Ryan
December 30, 2012
not a wasted word and the story didn't need even one more... well done!
Bill Baber
December 29, 2012
Like lightning flashes, these images stay burned in the retinas. The first line of dialogue turns haunting in a piece this short. Nicely told.
Mike Miner
December 28, 2012
Thank you all for the kind comments, I appreciate them very much.
Erik Arneson
December 28, 2012
Harsh slice of life.
Paul D. Brazill
December 28, 2012
The eyes told the story. Few words but a lasting impression. Nicely done.
Bruce Harris
December 28, 2012
This makes me imagine the rest of the story. Good stuff, Erik.
byRichard
December 28, 2012
Second what Michael Monson said; a perfect little sketch of the lost. I've known far to many girls like this. Perfectly done Erik.
Isaac Kirkman
December 28, 2012
Like an artist sketching a sad sad picture. It made me think immediately of so many of my kids' friends who I knew when they were in elementary school but by the time they were 16 I could barely recoginize because of all the damage they'd done to themselves.
michaelmonson
December 28, 2012
Nicely done, Erik. Like how this hints at a larger story.
Chris Rhatigan
December 28, 2012

Comments are closed for this post.