Jagged Scar

05/28/12

The diner was empty apart from the guy in the corner.

‘I don’t suppose you have a light?’, he said, walking over.

‘Sure’, Patty said, flicking her Zippo, hiding the stain, snuffing it out. ‘Spare a cigarette?’

‘Oh yeah.’

The waitress looked at them out of the corner of her eye, curling her lip.

Patty stepped outside into the diesel fumes. They began the smokers’ chat, weather, money. Then he said it.

‘Last night I killed a man.’ He blew smoke skywards. ‘A guy got smart. He was nobody, really.’

‘That right?’

Silence. And just two burning cigarette ends in the cold.

‘Why you telling me this?’, she said.

‘Cause there’s one thing I always feel like doing after I kill someone.’

‘No shit?’

‘You look good to me.’

‘I ain’t gonna sleep with you.’

‘I ain’t asking you to sleep with me, honey. How old are you anyway?’

‘Twenty-six.’

‘No shit. There’s a bad dude out there, in case you ain’t heard, he’s been chopping women up. Much badder’n old Jim. I don’t kill ladies, just fuck them.’

‘I can look after myself.’

‘Heard one woman got her throat opened up real bad. Out here, alone, just her thumb in the air and only her poontang to pay. They call him the maniac trucker, although I hear this guy drives a pick up.’

‘Thank you for the smokes’, she said, walking back in.

Inside, the waitress stared at her from behind the counter, hands on her hips. Then she went out back. Patty felt weak and as she tried to remember the last time she’d eaten, Jim walked in, laughing, almost dancing across the diner to where she sat.

‘Come on, darling, we can do it in the john’, he said.

The smell of pizza drifted across the air.

‘How much you got?’

‘I knew you were a pick up. I reckon you’re worth a hundred.’

‘Hundred and fifty.’

‘Done.’

He peeled a stack of tens out of his wallet and laid them in her palm.

‘I’ll see you in the john’, she said.

After a few minutes Jim made his way there.

She was standing at the back, past the urinals, outside the only clean cubicle.

Jim walked in and put a broom handle against the door.

‘Well, hallafuckinglooya baby.’

‘Come on’, she said, walking into the cubicle, pulling down her jeans.

‘You’re as sweet as cherry pie, ain’t you?’

She thought she heard someone trying the door as he entered her. She looked over Jim’s shoulder at a fly crawling across the graffiti. She felt the cold wall against her buttocks as he stopped.

He winked and ran his finger across her cheek.

‘Told you I ain’t the maniac trucker.’

He looked down at her right forearm and shook his head. A jagged scar running through the word “Mom”.

After he left she heard a pick up drive off as she checked herself in the mirror.

Then the door opened and the waitress walked in.

‘I fucking knew’, she said. ‘I saw him leave, I’m calling the po-lice.’

‘Why the fuck you such a bitch?’

‘You just made a big mistake, you ho.’

‘You don’t get to call me no hooker, you’re just a fucking waitress.’

She was trying to leave when Patty grabbed her hair. She spun round and struck Patty hard across the face.

‘I wish that killer would pick you’, the waitress said.

Patty smiled.

‘Oh yeah?’

She had one fist clenched in the waitress’s uniform as she pulled her switchblade from her pocket and opened up her throat. The blade was still moving in the air as the waitress spurted blood on the wall, staggering round with her eyes popping. And Patty watched her fall, one hand on the floor, reaching for something she never found.

She stepped over the body and out of the diner and hailed a passing truck.

Jim went back the next day and heard the waitress had been killed by the maniac trucker.

Every time he took a piss there, he thought of the hot little tattooed thing he’d screwed, as the steam rose from the urinal like a mist.

~ fin ~

Richard Godwin is the author of critically acclaimed novels Apostle Rising, Mr. Glamour and One Lost Summer.  

Apostle Rising explores the blurred line between law and lawlessness.

Mr. Glamour is about a world of wealthy, beautiful people who can buy anything, except safety from the killer in their midst.

One Lost Summer is a Noir story of fractured identity and ruined nostalgia.

His fourth novel, Noir City, will be published in 2014 in English and Italian by Atlantis.

Confessions Of A Hit Man is a high octane thriller and will be published in 2014 by MeMe and has already sold foreign rights in English, French and Italian.

You can cut the tension in this tale with a knife (no pun intended).  Great twist at the end.  No way to see that coming.  Evil is everywhere and anywhere, and Richard, you've placed it squarely in the middle of a truck stop (now added to my list of places to never go)!  Classy noir.
Joyce Juzwik
August 12, 2012
Thank you all so much for your great comments.
Richard Godwin
May 31, 2012
A good mix of cold and heat, desperation and fear.
R.J. Spears
May 31, 2012
neat twist!!! I loved the mom with the scar through it
Janecallan10
May 30, 2012
 always a treat to read a story by Mr. Godwin...
Bill Baber
May 30, 2012
Classic Godwin. Can't get enough of this stuff.
Chris Rhatigan
May 30, 2012
Great dialogue and you caught the country truck stop atmosphere perfectly.
Holly West
May 30, 2012
It'd be strange if there wasn't a sense of death in a truck stop bathroom romance. And yes, I just applied the word 'romance' to a serial killer prostitute. That's what noir is all about. Thanks for the story.
Ryan Sayles
May 30, 2012
Someone once told me that noir was about losers and the lost. You've captured the very essence of noir here, Richard.  I love your take on the legend... and just the right splash of horror!
Veronica Marie Lewis-Shaw
May 29, 2012
Thanks everyone.
Richard Godwin
May 29, 2012
Splendid flash.
PaulDBrazill
May 29, 2012
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Jagged Scar by Richard Godwin « How many short stories can you read in one year? Can you read a story a day for one year?
May 29, 2012
Once again, Richard, you capture the very essence of noir: dead-end people doing dead-end things. Like AJ, what I love is the legend of the maniac trucker and that it turns out to be good ol' Patty, who just happens to grab a ride with a passing trucker. Another excellent tale.
Christopher Grant
May 28, 2012
Short, sweet and complete. Maybe not quite "sweet" for the waitress. The very definition of a close shave for Jim. As for the maniac trucker? Well, a legend is a legend after all. And, with a legend, gender don't matter much. Good stuff. I give it 5 air horn blasts out of 5. And a special nod to the fly on the bathroom wall for armosphere.
AJ Hayes
May 28, 2012
Well done - nice interaction in the bathroom and great descriptions. My only critique is the last line was a little too over-the-top/fantastical for such a gritty story.
Chris
May 28, 2012
This is one of those stories that just fell into the gutter. They are always more interesting than the official versions. Great job again, Mr. G.
Benoît Lelièvre
May 28, 2012
Patty the Ripper!
Charles Gramlich
May 28, 2012

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