There’s
something you should know about Killian.
Killian’s
a guy who can put up with pretty much anything. All of that bullshit ex-con
locker room talk doesn’t faze him one bit. For the most part, the man is like a
Zen Buddhist monk.
But
if you so much as mention his gun.
Let
me give you a “for instance.”
For
instance, last summer, when Jerry Sullivan’s little brother Pat joined the
crew, we threw him a big party at the veterans’ hall on Ellery Street. We were
all shitfaced and lined up at the bar for another shot, when Pat makes a
comment about Killian’s gun being too small for a guy his size. I don’t know. Maybe he meant it as a joke or
something.
Everyone
at the bar shut up all at once. Jerry and me looked at each other. I could tell
we were both thinking that maybe we could spare Pat a beating from Killian if
we took care of this ourselves, right quick. So, we made a big show of dragging
the kid out into the parking lot, and, after giving him a few good ones in the
kidneys, we explained to him in no uncertain terms the rule about Killian’s
gun.
Never talk about Killian’s gun. No
jokes. No questions. No well-intentioned small talk about where he got it and
how many rounds it holds. Nothing. Not a single word.
Turns
out Killian wasn’t making any allowances that night, not even for a new guy
just cliqued up. When we all went back inside, Killian was waiting in the coat
room.
“Pat
and I need to have a little talk,” he said.
Nobody
tried to get in the way. We all knew better. Ten minutes later, Pat left the
coatroom minus his two front teeth. Later that night, I heard Jerry thanking Killian
for not killing his little brother.
I’m
telling you all of this so you don’t make the same mistake Pat did. So you don’t
ever let slip a question and end up alone in a coatroom with Killian.
Here’s
the truth.
That
gun Killian carries is a fake. Looks real, but it’s the same kind they use in
the movies. Takes special blanks Killian buys at a magic shop in Roxbury. For
obvious reasons, it’s absolutely fucking essential that nobody find out about
this. I mean, can you imagine what would happen if the wrong people knew Killian
wasn’t really strapped?
But
that’s not the only reason why Killian’s so salty on the subject of firearms.
He
used to carry a real gun. Used to have a little boy, too. Named Bobby, after Bobby
Orr. Four years old. Then, one night, Bobby got a hold of Killian’s gun. Now,
Killian doesn’t have a little boy anymore and he doesn’t carry a real gun.
Can’t bring himself to put his hands on a loaded piece without sobbing like a day
old baby.
So,
if you ever do work with the guy, for your own sake, avoid the subject of
Killian’s gun.
