“You can’t sit here.” “What’d you say, old timer?” He was a grizzly in a Packers jersey, with wrists the size of my neck. If you fuck this up, I thought, he’s going to kill you and use your femur as a toothpick. “I sai . . . I said you can’t sit here,” I […]
The <CLACK> <CLACK> of keyboard strokes was putting Dimitry into a trance. There wasn’t much else to focus on inside the data center. Except for the sounds of typing and the occasional whirring of a CPU fan trying to cool down an overburdened processor, there wasn’t much by way of audio-sensory stimulus. They weren’t even […]
“They probably ain’t even real Amish! I mean, whoever heard of a 30-foot neon fucking billboard advertising an Amish market?” My cousin Bobby wasn’t a particularly bright guy. One time, he got chemical burns on his urethra for trying to piss into his ex-girlfriend’s gas tank. But maybe in this, he had a point. I […]
I stuff my hands inside the pockets of my pea coat and square my shoulders to make myself look bigger than I am as I cross the street in front of the Bank of New York building on 34th and 5th. My grandfather helped build this bank. He came over from Ireland, one of thousands […]
Just another asshole in a sweat-stained trucker cap: the kind with a faux-vintage beer company logo plastered across the crown.
Just another loud-mouthed, flannel-clad, B.O.-stinking asshole, same as all the rest. Drunk, mean bastard, cussing up a storm and bragging to his buddies in the townie bar about his latest sexual conquest with the nuance of a fucking caveman. Tits this, pussy that, lewd hand gestures, obnoxiously loud laugh. I hated him from the moment I first saw him.
I ordered him a Pabst tallboy and had it sent over from the other end of the bar.
I’ve dealt with his type before. All he needed to know was that the brewski was from a woman – hell, any woman would do – and his little flannel entourage got banished to the pool tables so he could sidle up to me and ooze his redneck charms.
